1.26.26

Studio Vibes

Watching: One Battle After Another, Companion, Joy Ride, and Top Chef (Season 19: Houston)

Reading: Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi

Listening: The Core by XG

My time in Charleston was fantastic, and I was feeling good. Then this past week, it was a fucking shitshow because of current events. Although I suppose the US has always been a shitshow. It’s always been racist, cruel, and inhumane. It’s ironic because the mission of my job is to teach people how to stop this from happening again. Right now, it feels all for naught because it is happening again. We actively voted for it to happen again. I literally wrote in my journal, “Even making my art feels pointless. Why does my story matter, while others are being cut short?”

Then I cried while eating chocolate chip cookies, because that’s what you do. Crying was the release I needed (I like to think the yoga I did before journaling also helped). I spent the rest of the afternoon working on my paintings because my story is important. I’ve always said if I can make a positive impact on at least one person’s life, then it’s all worth it. It’s the same with my art. If my art can speak to one person and make them feel less alone, then it’s all worth it. So, I will keep telling my stories, even when it feels pointless.

In Progress

My afternoon painting was really relaxing, and it’s nice to see progress on these works. I’ve been so busy, I haven’t gotten a chance to sit down and do work in a couple of months. Building out the paintings using underpaintings is definitely the way to go! 

Before the week I went to Ming Smith’s talk (and went to Charleston), I was fighting with the figures. Going to Ming Smith’s talk and seeing how she captures motion made me inspired to experiment with how I was painting them. Since water-based mediums pool on top of Yupo, I decided to let it do what it wants instead of trying to fight it. The result (to me at least) creates a sense of motion in the figures, which feels more dynamic. The base of the figures was watercolor and watercolor pencils, so I added the acrylic gouache to bump up the saturation. In my original sketch, I had four fully rendered figures, but I think for the last two, I want them to either be completely in motion or outlines. I had been playing with the idea of layering outlines when I was living in New Mexico, and I think it will follow along with letting the underpainting show through.

Top photo: Updates on my duplicate painting.
Bottom photo: More progress on the mirror painting.

I’ve also sketched a couple of new painting ideas and plan on working on these throughout February. It’s like it’s finally dawned on me that I can only tell a work will be bad when it’s finished, and by that point, I’ll pivot if I don’t like the direction. That means a work will never be bad because I’ll always know when to shift. Who knew? Not me (says the woman who did 7 years of art school).

These paintings tell my story from 2020 and the effects it had on me. The murder of George Floyd was the final push I needed to accept who I am and realize that conforming to Eurocentric standards was never the answer. I will never be white-passing, I will never be white, and I love that. I love who I am and where I come from, where my family comes from, and where my ancestors came from. I acknowledge both my privilege (biracial, light skin) and my hardships. 2020 is finally when that alien doppleganger died, and I was myself again. As I mentioned earlier, I will keep telling my story because that story is important.

New sketches for future paintings

Creative Endeavors

If watching movies counts as creative endeavors, then I’ve done plenty of that! I watched the following:

  • HIM

  • Sinners (16 Oscar noms as it deserves)

  • One Battle After Another (obsessed with the soundtrack and cinematography)

  • Companion

  • Joy Ride (deserves way more love)

I love seeing how movies are visually designed and looking at what cinematographers and directors are thinking about when creating the scene's mood. I’ve been wanting to look more into cinematography for my work, but my library doesn’t have many books on the subject. It’s also why I try to watch so many movies, especially indie and foreign films, and music videos. I think there are a lot of interesting visuals that come into play that give me a lot of inspiration.

Movie and music video stills that I look at for inspiration for layout, perspective, and even general ideas.

I do need to start my Sailor Cosmos cosplay for Blerdcon. I don’t think the actual dress will be that hard to make, but it’s going to be all the little details and accessories that will be killer. The other cosplays (Dee Dee [Batman Beyond] and Bubbles [Powerpuff Girls]) are going to be way easier. This year’s theme for Blerdcon is Geeknik, inspired by Freaknik (early 90s Freaknik, not late 90s Freaknik), so all my cosplays involve a 90s (or early 00s) cartoon or manga.

Other Shenanigans

Charleston was a lot of fun! I ate my way through the city, went to the aquarium (I would die for Liberty, the bald eagle), added a few national parks to my list, and watched plenty of movies. Of course, I did a food review of the places I went, and my top 5 places were:

  • Jackrabbit Filly (tied for #1)

  • Chez Nous (tied for #1)

  • The Ordinary

  • Sorghum and Salt

  • Shiki

Also, I got to see more of Charleston than I had previously (and learned how strong sea turtle conservation is there). Combine that with seeing friends and family, and it was a much-needed trip. I basically took no photos while I was down there (kind of wish I did). However, I did really enjoy being present and taking a break from my phone. I’ve been trying to find that balance of being present with the people I want to spend time with.

This past week was Restaurant Week in DC, and it’s one of my favorite times of the year. I love being able to try new restaurants (some I wouldn’t be able to afford otherwise) and getting to deep dive into DC’s culinary scene. Dōgon was sadly booked out – one day I will go there. If you don’t know, Chef Kwame Onwuachi is the chef and owner, and he was on Top Chef (Season 13: California).

This upcoming weekend, I plan on going to San Antonio to visit Angelica! We haven’t hung out in person since her wedding back in 2022. Plus, her exhibition Mystic Threads will be opening this weekend! I’m incredibly proud of her and cannot wait to see all of her hard work come to life. I know it’s going to be a great weekend of inspiration, food, and spending time with one of my best friends. 

An update in two weeks (and hopefully less crying, but not guaranteed)!